The last twelve months have been the busiest and most profoundly life changing I can remember. My life as I knew it, no longer exists. I am still obviously the same girl, just far wiser and more loving. I understand the distinction between knowledge and wisdom - that distinction is all tied up in finding the courage to experience. Experiencing life... as opposed to settling for reading, thinking and day dreaming about it. I now demonstrate self respect, and my everyday actions reflect my innermost intentions. These two golden rules have served me well! So has developing what can only be described as, well - gumption.
My experiences over the last five years - the depression, struggle with self and anger, no longer define who I am. They form part of the library of experiences that make me the woman who I am today. This library is unique, beautiful and proves I am indeed an enigma - as each one of us are! Only recently can I look back at those memories with a sense of ownership and love. They no longer fill me with any sense of regret or bitterness. Sometimes, I believe, pain can bring the biggest rewards and greatest gains. I remember one particularly difficult morning, writing in my journal that in the near future I would be grateful for the pain I was feeling. I wrote those words not believing in them, just trusting. Like so many other things I have written in hope, my wishes became my reality -and I am now profoundly grateful for the pain I experienced on every level of my being.
In the words of Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931), a most wonderful philosopher and poet:
“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.”
I hope you enjoy the new blog,
Much love,
E xox
